by Marty | May 29, 2012 | Reviews of Stuff
I have an old friend, a guy I worked with in the scooter shop years ago, who went on to become a very accomplished luthier when the Vespa restorations weren’t cutting it any longer. A luthier is a guy who makes guitars, and I remember not being too overly supportive of Kris’ interest when he asked me, way back as it was sparking in him – because I was jaded, knowing in my past more than a couple of amazing luthiers who were broke and bitter.
Luckily, Kris paid no attention to me or my cynical kerfluffles, and went on to became quite an artisan, crafting some truly beautiful instruments – which you can learn more about on his website.
Backstory aside, Kris sent me an email about a thing he is doing with some friends of his, so I wanted to post it here – he wrote:
We have recently organized a unique instrument donation program called The Gift of Music Project and we need your help!
We are currently in the fundraising phase of the project and are in need of pledges from you to make the program a success. The goal of the project is to create and provide instruments to deserving music programs and young musicians.
We have a series of one-of-a-kind “thank you” gifts at various donation levels that will be sent directly to you as a token of our gratitude. Every donation counts so please just pledge the amount that is right for you.
If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions about the project please feel free to contact us directly through the campaign site.
If you are unable to make a donation at this time you can still be involved in the project by sharing the news of this campaign through Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.
Thank you so much for your help and generosity!
For more information about the project please visit our campaign site:
http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/77688?a=492488
Warmest regards,
Kris Barnett and fellow Gift of Music Members
www.krisbarnettguitars.com
As a guy who benefited from having instruments around to play with, I am all about supporting things like this, to put awesome instruments in the hands of those who want them…so do what you can to help Kris Barnett, and his music project.
by Marty | Apr 6, 2012 | General Pearls of Wisdom
Hopefully, you have never heard of Stephen Pierce. And unless you either frequent internet marketing dens of inequity or have accidentally answered the phone, chances are good you haven’t (we hope). But there are a lot of people that have heard of him, and as a result, many of them end up with a lot less money and no good explanation for it. I will let my friend the Salty Droid tell you all about it in his recent posts: Vorys, Sater, Seymour and Pease LLP, and Stephen Pierce…standard warning about the filthy language over there, and I do encourage you to do enough reading and link following to understand the specifics.
According to Salty’s investigating, Pierce not only has scammed tens-to-hundreds-of-thousands from people buying biz-ops, but he also flexes his lawyer on them, and sues people all the time. It doesn’t take a genius to do a little web searching and find tons of complaints on Pierce – but these are common in the stinking, scuzzy world of biz-op Internet marketing. What is not common is to sue people as much as Pierce does, and this is pretty unappealing by most standards. It’s like stealing the wheels off wheelchairs, or raping the wounded.
Here’s the interesting thing though. There is a legal action brewing against Pierce and his company, led by an attorney in Dallas named Allen Rosenberg. The way a suit like this works though, is the attorney for the plaintiffs cannot solicit more folks to join in – so the word has to be spread in other ways. Like on Salty’s site, or this blog post.
To quote the droid from the most recent post, The People VS Stephen Pierce:
Dallas Attorney Alan Rosenberg is preparing to bring a lawsuit against Stephen Pierce International {and affiliated companies and individuals} for the victims of SPI’s various scams :: fake opportunities :: and boiler room soul crushings. Alan and his firm :: Chamblee, Ryan, Kershaw & Anderson, P.C. :: have agreed to take the case on a contingency basis … which is super awesome of them because people who’ve just been scammed for insane monies don’t tend to have lots of cash lying around.
If you’ve been scammed by Stephen Pierce {or a phone room calling in his name} you should consider being a part of this suit. Not just for yourself :: or for the money {which you deserve to get back} … but because it needs to be done for the greater fucking good. Because it’s not going to stop unless we all step up and do our part to stop it.
Contact Alan Rosenberg at this email address for more details about getting involved in the suit.
All of the links there are live, and I do encourage you to reach out to Rosenberg if Pierce’s organization (Stephen Pierce International) had or has you in its tendrils. And, if you have a blog, or Tweet, or Facebook all the time or something, make sure to help spread the word, so victims can learn about this action and come forward, and hopefully get back some of what they lost here.
Here’s hoping this suit gets huge, and brings more light to this subject matter – not to mention a little well-earned restitution!
by Marty | Mar 3, 2012 | Freelance SEO Copywriting Tips
Editors? EDITORS? We don' need to show you no steenkin' editors!!
So I was surfing around for images on a couple editing gigs I have going, and out “there” saw couple examples of why it makes sense to never use an editor. That I just watched Treasure of the Sierra Madre again is beside the point. The following examples clearly illustrate why you don’ need no steenkin’ editors.
Example A: A Clutrual Experience
The image here was on a photographer’s bio-links on a well known photo site. The thing that impressed me on this, was just how many rules of English are abandoned in so small a space. Time is money after all! You can clearly see how an editor here would have simply screwed things up, and distorted the clarity of the message. Better that this artist handle it alone. You go girl!
THANKS FOR BUY! MORE CHOICE IN MY COLLECTION: is a really great way to lead off. It immediately expresses gratitude for buy which hadn’t even occurred yet, so this was right on the money. Buy is the heart and soul of all e-commerce, and it it is made perfectly clear that there are thanks involved.
Following this strangely effective expression of gratitude, the user knows they can also have more choice in collection. Hemingway would be proud – the copy here is so terse it does not even waste time with plurals or clarity. Well played, ma’am, well played. You had me at “thanks for buy.”
All of this is really just leading users naturally and effortlessly into the glorious cluture on display. Then and only then, all becomes clear. Having more choice in a cluture collection for buy brings us all one step closer to conversion, and this artist knows it. She feed us with good, long time.
She was not one who was going to waste valuable resources on an editor for something going out as her portfolio, because this was of course note-perfect as it is. The potential clients are ready for buy more choice in collection, so get those cash registers ready, honey: there’s a cluture stampede coming! No steenkin’ editors needed here, gringa!
Example B: The Chef’s Dick
This next example shows us that it is difficult to run a restaurant and the potential disasters that occur when you don’t maintain strict standards in uniforms.
The chef was evidently having difficulty with his trousers, but how the staff was involved, we don’t really know for sure. We might assume that they had to take turns holding the pants closed for the chef who was obviously busy cooking and couldn’t do it himself. Maybe it was a problem due to an unusual shape he had, or a slope in the kitchen floor where he worked.
I like the idea that the owners are genuinely concerned about the chef’s uniform and working environment, and are doing all they can to protect his dick. I want to eat here!
What really gets me about this one though, is the cryptic way the omission of the last verb pushes it back on us. “We can’t ____ any staff to stay,” can be answered in so many ways – I am glad they understood to leave that up to the reader to figure out…as if we didn’t have enough on our hands with the chef’s dick falling out all over the place! An editor would have suggested making this more rigid, so the restaurateur is correct in expressing it more openly and pulling the reader in.
I came up with a couple options, kind of like Mad-Libs to help figure out what might be going on in this restaurant.
We can’t — any staff to stay:
- afford – they spent all their money on new pants and faulty zippers for the chef
- force – they are afraid the chef’s dick may interfere with proper dinner service
- train – the waitstaff has developed a sense of wanderlust (inspired no doubt, by the chef’s dick)
- hypnotize – hypnotists are expensive
- find – the staff are all hiding from the chef’s dick
- trick – everyone knows that restaurateurs routinely trick waitstaff with shiny things
I know if it were me coming to the restaurant’s window and seeing this, I would hope they could work out whatever problems the chef’s dick keeps causing. Maybe they could buy him some special equipment, or a custom made harness. Maybe some duct tape or paste or a helmet would help.
Just seems like his dick inspires and unlocks so much mystery, it would be worth trying a few more things before you just give up and apologize, locking the door. But wait.
Through this sign’s editor-less artistry, we leave (hungry) and are intrigued by the chef’s problems, and made all the more curious by connecting ethereally with the staff. I may leave now, but I am coming back later to find out more about the chef’s pants, experience more connections with the staff and maybe get some lasagna. Very sneaky, and shrewd – and only possible without an editor in there, hell-bent on ruining everything.
by Marty | Feb 24, 2012 | Stuff for Foodies
OK, the Holidays have officially passed. I dragged the old tree down into the woods a few weeks ago, and put all the decorations back into storage. Now that the parties are all said and done and us merry revelers are forced back into our sterile routines, it is finally safe for me to bestow upon you the best egg nog recipe, ever.
I would not do it during the holidays to ensure my own gatherings were memorable – indeed, people have come to understand my egg nog is not like others, and is worth enduring my prattling on. Every time I make it, people ask for the recipe, or an IV – usually both. They pledge to listen to me, if only long enough to latch onto the ‘nog tit. I get it.
I decided after so many requests again this year, to finally give the recipe away. If you like egg nog, this recipe is going to make you cry with unbridled joy, or pray, or orgasm, or do whatever you do when mouth awesomeness overtakes you. It is boozeless, but go ahead and spike yours as you see fit. Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum or brandy are both good I hear.
I give a solid nod to my Mom – it was her recipe I read, and stole/appropriated to create this one. My Mom’s egg nog in the 70s was crazy perfect, and a granite memory of mine. She would fill milk jugs, and we kept them in the snowbanks outside the back door. I dialed back a little of the sugar and some of the control and precise measures hers had, but otherwise, this is all Mom’s recipe. Definitely came from me trying to recreate that unmatched deliciousness.
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Ingredients for The Best Homemade Egg Nog Ever:
- One dozen eggs (yep – all of ’em)
- One half-gallon to a gallon of milk (skim, 2%, or whatever)
- I pint heavy whipping cream
- sugar- white refined or powdered – 1 half cup, and one quarter cup, separated.
- a good shot of vanilla extract, 2-3 times (eyeball it, but don’t go crazy)
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Step One:
separate egg whites and yolks. Put yolks aside.
Sounds so easy – almost care-free and fun. Separating eggs is pretty hateful though, at least to me – this is by far the hardest part of making this, but absolutely required.
Suck it up.
Step Two:
add quarter cup sugar and small shot of vanilla (optional) to egg whites – beat until they are stiff peaks – a meringue is what we want here. Set meringue aside.
(Note: I have used Cream of Tartar in this before to help stiffen the meringue, but did not see a change really when I didn’t have it, so I don’t normally use it. Go ahead if you have some – because how many times do you ever get to use it? Cream of Tartar soup?)
Step Three:
mix together the heavy whipping cream, a good solid shot of vanilla extract, and a half cup of sugar. When it’s creamy and smooth, stop…especially before it becomes too thick and turns buttery. You are looking for whipped cream that is very soft and silky.
Step Four:
In a separate mixing bowl, hand-whisk egg yolks with a medium-to-smaller shot of vanilla extract. Slowly add milk (the full gallon or half does not need to be used – you can use less, and the nog is richer…but about half should be fine and the rest is to taste). Whisk milk with yolks for consistency…looking for simply a nice blending of all ingredients. Light froth is OK, but settle down.
Step Five:
Combine the meringue and the heavy cream in the serving punch bowl, then fold-in the yolk and milk mixture, stirring constantly. Pull the meringue and cream into the yolk-milk mixture, blending all. Even after generously mixing, it will settle and produce a very light/whipped froth on top, and the nog will be below.
Garnish the frothy top of this drink with ground nutmeg and cinnamon…I tend to be a little generous. Better if you can shave nutmeg onto it, but hey.
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It seems like this would be super rich with all those ingredients, but it is really light and airy. The meringue is the key – it really makes this stuff have an amazing texture.
I have made this with hand mixers, and now a couple times with a KitchenAid big mixer (my Precious is lovingly in those images above) – and there is no comparison to how long it takes – the KitchenAid is so key in the process, I am even willing to make it more often now.
So there you go – I imagine less people may be coming by this Holiday season if they see the recipe posted here…thank God no one reads this. But if they all stay at home, inducing their own egg nog comas – I totally understand. 🙂
by Marty | Feb 23, 2012 | General Pearls of Wisdom
Over on the Salty Droid site today, he released some audio files and a very strong message about the lack of (seemingly) any accountability for many well-organized online marketing scams. The audio tapes give clear examples of telemarketing fraud happening every day – thousands of times – to vulnerable people who are fed lies about how easy it is to make an online fortune in your pajamas without knowing a thing about business.
I really suggest to give this post a read and a listen – and if you are not familiar with the droid’s stuff, be warned – language on the site gets filthy dirty, and it can become very heated. While not for everyone, it is a site I would highly recommend to anyone considering entering the world of Internet Marketing, and I personally find him to be a very funny writer.
The audio tape is not something the scammers who orchestrate these sales assaults want anyone to hear – because it makes the fraud and deception blatant. Yet the point I got from Salty’s post, is they are not spending any time defending it – they are free to do as they wish, seemingly with no retribution.
Salty’s post and the commentary are going to do a fine job of tackling the topic of the legal aspects of accountability, so I want to talk about this ridiculous message – this unicorn dream these assholes are pushing.
Easy = Experience+Skill
One of the main dreams being sold (aside from the mounds of money everyone makes online), is how easy it all is. “Look: I just turned on a website, and it was just like turning on a magical fountain of riches! I never even look at it for more than ten minutes a week, and make a zillion dollars a year from the beach – and you can too!”
OK – it is true, turning on a website is easier than it has ever been. No rocket science needed in launching a blog or using some other free option to do the heavy-lifting of code writing. But the difference in launching a site and having a successful one is not mentioned. Instead, it is quickly shifted from the work you do or knowledge/experience you need (which is downplayed, obfuscated or even refuted) into how quickly you start earning.
Often, they’ll tell you they are sharing Mysteriously Powerful Internet Secrets that experts use all the time and hide from the peons, and that is why they are successful…and you can too! But there are no hidden secrets like this – it is another lie. Having tricks or tools to save time is a great thing, but it is not the miracle that makes work disappear. If you buy the best lawn mower made, you still have to know how to operate it – and it doesn’t cut the grass on its own.
These vipers are intentionally targeting people who are elderly, struggling or show some exploitable vulnerability – they look for personal pain points, offering the scam as the wonder-salve. In the audio Salty had, the phone weasel quickly uncovered personal financial information he used to pressure his sales pitch. Regarding this poor guy falling prey to it, Salty said:
His desperation is obvious :: but everything Artino says to him is a blatant lie … and he’s totally sold after just a few minutes.
This is what really infuriates me about this shit…greedy manipulation in the guise of “we’re helping you to help yourself.”
And blatantly lying about earning potential and easy is how these dripping pantloads continue to wreck people who show vulnerability and need.
Easy is a lie. Easy is only experience – and without it, your business idea will need to grow – and it is really hard to make a good business idea work and grow. There is a lot of failing, making mistakes, and rough times. And the reality is – most people won’t make the kind of “decent” money online they need to survive. Because work is hard, and so is business.
You don’t start a legitimate business thinking, “I am going to make easy money online.”
If you have a legitimate business, you can promote it really well online, and earning potential can be amazing…but easy is still not going to be part of the equation for you.
A legitimate business requires work and effort and skill and everything that the phone scabs intentionally avoid telling you, as they root through your past for new pain points to salve. Hard work doesn’t fit on their unicorn’s backs – truth doesn’t up-sell – reality won’t get you thru the re-billing turnstiles.
I really hated listening to that audio because of what it represents – it made me mad as hell, again, that these predatory sleazeballs just won’t stop – and that the consumer protection agencies don’t appear to make them sweat nearly enough. But once again I applaud Salty Droid’s willingness to expose this crap and to take the associated risks involved in doing so. If I can add to the spirit of his important work, let me express emphatically, there is no EASY – online, offline or otherwise. If they get you to believe in easy, you are halfway up the unicorn and on your way to losing – not earning – money.
Salty also likes to say “You can’t make money online” and while I laugh at that statement (I make plenty of money online, silly fake robot), I understand what he means by it and for most people innocently answering the phone, I agree. Anyone can make a little bit online for sure – but not the kind of money you are being told. Most of those zillionaires, aren’t, weren’t, won’t be. Call me a hater.
Protect yourself from getting horn-swaggled by these kind of scams through identification of the scammer’s tactics – just remember if something sounds too good to be true, it is likely coming off a well traveled script in a Utah boiler room…and you may already be a mark full of pain points for these con artists to wear down aggressively.
I’ll join what I felt to be the droid’s lightly veiled plea to federal and consumer-protection-oriented powers-that-be: Please make it stop…pay attention.
